Quarter Life Crisis - An Unofficial Tribute to my Mom

Me and my mom on my wedding day

Technically its a third life crisis but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it so we'll go with quarter life. I've never really been afraid of getting older. I thank my mom for that. My mom has always been the celebrator of all the things. Until I was about 12 we celebrated my half birthday, and no my birthday isn't on Christmas or some other major holiday where it might warrant that, my birthday is on August 12 and my half-birthday is February 12.

Every holiday was HUGE and had its own traditions. Valentine's Day, Easter, Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's. I remember special recipes: Monkey Bread for breakfast on Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays. Special traditions: finding the "golden egg" on Easter with the prize of $20 (for the record I have never found the conflabbit golden egg and so I insist on participating to this day), making homemade valentines for Valentine's Day, eating candy until we were sick and watching Its the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and old Abbott and Costello movies on Halloween and eating bowl after bowl of white bean chili and playing Guesstures on New Years.

So this year is a big celebration: 30. Most of my friends have already turned 30 or are turning 30 this year or next. We're all in the same boat. I've accomplished most of my checklist of goals. Graduate College. Check. Launch an awesome career. Check. Travel A LOT. Check.  Get married. Check. Have baby #1. Check. Get pregnant with baby #2 eight months later. Surprise Check. Work at the same company for 5 years. In August that will be a check. Make x amount of money by 30. Check. But that last one...That last one.

I keep thinking back to all of the memories. To all of the reasons I have never worried about getting older and have always embraced it. Really the main reason is I was raised to believe at my core that life is a celebration. We move from one celebration to the next. It drives my husband a little bit bonkers because he equates celebration to $$$ but its not. Its about seeing life as an adventure, in a glass half full (or maybe even on the brink of overflow) kind of way.

When I was 13 we were evacuated from our home due to toxic black mold.  We lived in a hotel room for 3.5 months. 2 adults and 5 children in two connecting hotel rooms for 3.5 months! We were only allowed to take freshly laundered clothing and toys that could be sterilized. We had basically nothing but we were happy because mom always made life happy. My mom never complained about our time in the hotel (at least not to the kids). She called it our great adventure. She focused on the positives: we had daily maid service to make our beds and clean our bathrooms, we had free breakfast every day (I ate so much frosted shredded wheat), we had two bathrooms (can you imagine only one bathroom?), we had a pool and a workout room, we were within walking distance of Alamo Cafe (its a San Antonio thing but they have decent Tex Mex and its super affordable).

As I've reflected recently, I wonder if in the past several years if I've been so focused on checklists and to-dos and endless email inboxes that I've stopped celebrating a little. If I've stopped focusing on all of the positives and all of the little things.  I'm turning 30 this year and if I'm honest I've had a beautiful first 30 years on this earth. And I am so looking forward to the next 30 and hopefully the next 30 after that. I just want to make sure my path is clear and my trajectory is marked.

I want a plan for the next 30. And not one that involves checklists other than those that say things like: plant a Garden with my boys, hike through Banff with my hubby, play with my babies, write because I need it, stop my day to have coffee with a friend who needs to vent.

This is not a to work or not to work post. I'm a working mom and technically whether you work in an office setting or not we're all working moms. But I think I put more pressure on myself to be perfect at work than its worth sometimes. At the end of this life I'm not going to care about campaigns I launched or the salary I earned at the peak of my career. I'm going to care about the moments when I led my family on adventures versus "hard times."  I'm going to care if I miss the little moments of celebration, the tooth fairy and the first books read on their own.

My son turns 1 this month. I want him to know what it is to celebrate your half birthday. I want him to have monkey bread on Christmas morning and to make cheesy homemade Valentines and good lord if I'm not going to find that damn golden egg I sure hope he does!